My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
