3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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