Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
