Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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