Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
