I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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