Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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