She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
