I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
sarcasm needs its own font
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize