im drinking this country out of the recession.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
