I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I forgot wine drunk hurts
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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