Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He shit in the fireplace
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
