So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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