i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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