I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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