I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
