im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
