did you get engaged???
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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