I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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