Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
