seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
