Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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