my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
