when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
