I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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