like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
