I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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