dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
