Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
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