Its about making memories worth repressing
I cut my penus on the lid.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
