she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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