Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
