I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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