On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I just found a bag of teeth...
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
