Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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