Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
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