check it out our google latitudes are spooning
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
