I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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