speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
