my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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