Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
