Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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