yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
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