just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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