I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Say something about gay babies.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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