That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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