How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I came so hard my ears popped.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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