we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
