I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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