It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Randomize
