i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
