It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
