I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
