Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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