One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
