yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
