Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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