New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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