okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
