I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
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