your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
They are going to name an STD after you.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize