I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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