Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
no you cant smoke seaweed
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
