eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize